It was a big decision. It was me deciding if I was going to be happy or not. I had no idea that was what I was deciding but it was.

It was 2004 and I was flying pretty high. The first screenplay I’d sold was shot and was soon going to be released as a feature film which took care of one of my biggest concerns. You see, being Indian and going to film school was just not done. I’d done it and had always wondered if my family or my community would ever be okay with it.

Luckily, a screenplay I wrote with my best friend, Tommy Lambeth, sold to an Indian company and was made with some famous Indian actors and all of a sudden my chosen career didn’t seem so ridiculous anymore. Suddenly, I wasn’t some wannabe film guy, I had a movie that I wrote being made with people my family had heard of in it. In a way, it legitimized me.

I got my first credit on the Internet Movie Data Base (www.imdb.com) and that also legitimized me. Whenever I meet anyone that “works” in the film industry, I always check their IMDB page to see what they’ve really done. IMDB lets you know if they are for real or not and at this moment, I was for real. So, maybe I wasn’t wasting my time after all. Maybe I could do this. I’m not gonna lie, it felt good. Take that, suckers.

Then, one day not too long after that, a friend called up and asked me the name of the movie I wrote that was getting made. He was trying to load it up on IMDB and show it to someone. I told him to just type my name and it would come up. He said, “I did” and it didn’t come up. This is the moment where Spielberg would do a dolly in and zoom out simultaneously to signify that the character just realized something huge.

I realized that in one fell swoop it was all gone. Our names were no longer listed on the film as the screenwriters. The producer of the film had put his name as the screenwriter and removed us from the film altogether. My IMDB credit was gone. My dreams of having my name on the big screen were gone. My legitimacy was gone.

Those that know me well know that I’m generally an upbeat person. I like cracking jokes, smiling and making others smile. I’m loud and proud. It’s easy to tell when I’m upset because I’m quiet. After our credits where taken away from us, I barely spoke for a few weeks. My wife was going nuts doing everything she could to make me happy.

The thing about happy is that someone can’t give that to you. They can make you smile and maybe make you forget about your issues for a little while but they can’t make you happy. Happy comes from the inside out. If you’re not happy without them, you probably aren’t going to be happy with them. When someone asks you to make them happy, all they’re really asking is for you to make them smile for a little while.

I was in a dark place for awhile. It’s so hard to choose a field in which you could work your entire life and never see a film get made. You could make a living as a teacher or doing corporate work but you’re not really a filmmaker until you’re involved with a film that gets made. I had that right in the palm of my hand and it was taken away. I was a filmmaker but with that one credit gone, I had nothing. What do you do in a situation like that? I had no idea. I was lost.

“When something bad happens to you, you can either put it in the trunk of your car and let it slow you down or you can put it in the gas tank and let it fuel you.”
~ Anonymous

Then, one day, I had a simple thought. It’s always something simple isn’t it? I decided I was going to produce and direct a feature film script that I wrote and then let’s see someone try to take my name off of it. That’s all I did, just decide. I don’t know why I never decided to do that earlier. Well, that’s not entirely true, I had decided to make a film on two occasions before but both of them fell apart and never got to production. Maybe because I wasn’t working hard enough. Maybe because I wasn’t dedicated. I don’t know.

But this time, something was different. I was pissed. If you met me during this time in my life and looked me in the eyes you knew beyond a shadow of a doubt that I was going to get this movie made. I had no idea of how to do it. I’d never raised money before. I’d never made a business plan or filed anything with the Securities and Exchange commission. But I was determined, so I read and I learned and I spoke to people and little by little it all started to come together.

I directed my first feature film four months later. It turns out that losing that movie credit was the best thing that ever happened to my career. Without losing it I probably would never have made my first feature film.

Years later I came across a quote that sums up that time in my life. I’m paraphrasing but it goes something like this – “When something bad happens to you, you can either put it in the trunk of your car and let it slow you down or you can put it in the gas tank and let it fuel you.”

This is a prime example of something slowing me down for a few weeks until I adjusted my process and used it as fuel to motivate me to do something that I could never do before. Keep in mind that it was just a decision, that’s it. There was no winning the lottery or inheritance that made it happen. It was just a decision.

Now, let me take a second to say that there were many wonderful people who were instrumental in the process of making the movie and I am forever grateful to them, but it all started that moment that I decided to stop feeling sorry for myself and do something about it.

So, if you find yourself in a place where you feel sorry for yourself because of something beyond your control, please realize that your happiness is completely in your control and all you need to do is make a decision. Choose happiness.